Get Back With Your Ex - Your First Contact

So you've decided that you want to get back with your ex, but now you need to decide how to contact him or her. What's the best means of contact?

Well, no matter what method of contact you choose, it's important to make sure you've allowed enough time to pass befor you attempt to contact your ex. If the breakup is still fresh in your mind, and especially if the break up was pretty drama-laden, you're going to need to wait for several weeks befoer you attempt to contact him or her. If you do it too soon, you're going to come accross as needy and emotionally unstable - making it highly unlikely that you're going to get back with your ex.

When the time does come, you have several options - you could just stop by, call your ex, send a note, send an email... there are others, but these are the main modes of contact.

Just dropping by without using some other means of contact first is almost always a bad idea. You have no idea how your ex is going to feel about you showing up... or if he or she even wants to discuss the possibility of getting back together. He or she might view this as an intrusion, and become very angry with you. If you want to get your ex back, this is probably the worst possible choice.

Calling is a pretty good choice, but only if you're confident that you'll be able to keep your emotions together. If your breakup was highly emotional (say, if you're coping with infidelity or other serious event), you might think you'll be fine, but then go to pieces when you hear your ex's voice. But if you know you can stay calm, this is a good way to make meaningful contact without being intrusive.

If you're not sure how to get your ex back, or if you think you might go to pieces on the phone, writing a note or email is probably the best means of communication. This lets you think your words through for as long as you need to... allowing you plenty of time to put your strategy into play. It's not as personal as calling your ex, but it's more controlled... and that can sometimes make the difference between whether or not your ex will be willing to meet with you to discuss getting back together.

(If you don't have a strategy for getting your ex back, check out Save the Marriage - it will take a lot of guesswork out of convincing your ex that your relationship is worth saving.